"Without Shame or Fear" - Sermon for 4 Advent, 12-21-25

Shame and fear are powerful emotions. Have you ever felt them? Me, too.

The big dictionary in my study defines shame as a “painful emotion caused by a strong sense of guilt, embarrassment, unworthiness, or disgrace.” Fear is defined as a “feeling of agitation and anxiety caused by the presence or imminence of danger” [Am. Her., 4^th Ed].

Shame and fear are powerful motivators. Shame can make us deny and deflect, but it also can make us apologize and change. Fear can make us run and hide, but it can also make us confront and fight.

Shame and fear are related. Shame can make us afraid of being found out. Fear can make us ashamed if we run away.

And shame and fear can show up separately. Years ago, I was invited to a protest by some people who may have been against fascism. A notorious neo-Nazi was scheduled to speak at a nearby university. “Shame on you!” I shouted from a safe distance to one man, protected by a phalanx of police, going into the venue. Another attendee was bonked in the head by a well-thrown water bottle. I laughed out loud at that, and immediately – and justifiably – was ashamed for having laughed. And I didn’t get too close to the scrum. I was afraid of getting into a fist-fight (which some did) or of getting arrested (which some were).

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The Church has applied shame and fear, and not always helpfully. Shame has been attached to one’s identity, for example; still is, in some traditions. Fear has been used as a cudgel – behave and believe … hell awaits you! Some still claim that’s an effective form of evangelism.

But there is room for shame and fear, too. They can help form one’s conscience. Perhaps one neo-Nazi has begun to feel shame, not because of my safe-distance-shout or a water-bottle upside the head, but because God’s grace has begun to work on him. Maybe the abstract fear of hell for another gets replaced by a real desire not to offend people and God. We are Christians, after all. We believe in and hope in the power and promise of a change of heart and a conversion of life. Our own, and others.

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Joseph the betrothed was once ashamed and afraid. Mary, his intended, was with child – not his. A quiet dismissal would allay that shame and take away the fear of being found out. That was how they did it in their culture. Joseph had the best of intentions. He was a righteous man. He was looking out for the both of them.

But the angel of the Lord visited Joseph and took away his shame and his fear. The pregnancy is of the Holy Spirit, the angel said, and the child is to be the savior. St. Matthew’s account squares with St. Luke’s, who told of the angel of the Lord visiting Mary with the same good news. Joseph and Mary were fortunate to be visited by the Lord’s angel. These must have been convincing annunciations.

For the rest of us, what to be ashamed of and afraid of takes discernment. It relies on God’s grace in scripture and liturgy, in sacraments and tradition, to help us see what is shameful and what is not; what is to be feared and what is not. Confessors administering that sacrament, and spiritual directors with their counsel, have helped me sort this out for myself, as I hope I have helped others sort it out.

To be freed from shame and fear by living a converted life is God’s desire for us. This is why God became one of us, incarnate in Jesus – the son of Mary, entrusted to Joseph’s care. We affirm God’s desire throughout Advent in the preface to the Eucharistic Prayer. Listen for it later, and hear it now: You sent your beloved Son to redeem us from sin and death, and to make us heirs in him of everlasting life; that when he shall come again in power and great triumph to judge the world, we may without shame or fear rejoice to behold his appearing.

Let God’s grace work on you. Embrace the scripture and liturgy, the sacraments and tradition, that help you discern. Ask the intercession of St. Joseph, who knew shame and fear, to pray to God on your behalf. Ask the intercession of St. Mary, who had questions of her own. That is what the saints do for us. And use the power of God to interpret the powerful emotions that you feel. You are not in this alone. Let God help.

Father Daniel S.J. Scheid, SCP

4^th Sunday of Advent – December 21, 2025

All Saints’ Episcopal Church, San Francisco

“Without Shame or Fear”